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  I sat in the still-moist leather seat and watched her slowly walk around the front of the car. She sat staring out the windshield for a moment, and then turned in her seat and looked at me.

  “You have a stubborn streak that runs much deeper than I’d anticipated. You have got to learn to control your behavior. I expect you to manage your conduct not only in my presence, but with everyone you come in contact with. That will be very important where we are going.”

  My mind immediately flashed back to the party we’d attended where I wore a dress made of delicate webbed chain, concealing nothing, and was placed on a pedestal, expected to remain perfectly still while being judged by her friends. Standing virtually naked for everyone to view and comment on without regard to my feelings had not been one of my favorite dates and yet had turned into a lesson in submission that I cherished.

  “You will represent me in an environment where you will be expected to behave as my submissive, not my girlfriend.”

  My heart started pounding as I realized why I wouldn’t need anything I might have packed. If I was to be displayed again, I’d wear whatever she chose – even if it was nothing. My eyes focused on hers while my emotions blended fear and excitement into an unexpectedly erotic cocktail.

  Thoughts pulsed through my mind. There was no way I could imagine what I was headed into. Her requirements of me exceeded anything I had ever imagined in any relationship. How much more could she expect of me? Or a better question – how much more was I willing to give her?

  “It is extremely important that you present well, Laura. It may determine our future.” She turned back in her seat and started the car. “I trust you will not disappoint me with any further insolent behavior.”

  I was glad she really couldn’t read my thoughts at that moment.

  “The Gate isn’t the time or place to test your boundaries. My reputation is at stake.”

  I sat quietly, while swirling all the possibilities of what I was walking into. How bad could it be? No worse than the party, right? That thought alone stirred both emotional and physical confusion. I was desperate to please her, but at what cost to my own needs – or in her opinion, my wants?

  She’d told me once that the psyche of a submissive had to be a delicate balance of strength and weakness, and that I would do better when I learned to trust more and challenge less. Trust was a complicated issue for me and with others had always been crushed immediately after giving into it. The bitter taste lingered. But only my complete trust in her would allow the depth of control she desired.

  Suddenly the car slowed as we turned onto a long narrow side road marked Private Property. Dusk had fallen without me noticing it or the two hours that passed. The head lamps illuminated a massive ornate gate under an archway of freshly leafed branches. She stopped and pressed a code into the security box. Things were looking up. It was some sort of private resort or estate, as I had imagined from the few cryptic clues she had dropped to distract my questioning.

  The gate opened and she drove through, while ahead I saw the very large structure, like an old southern estate right out of Gone with the Wind. With more rooms than some hotels, I imagined. I was presently surprised when I saw the immaculate grounds and illuminated gardens that sprawled to both sides as far as I could see. She stopped the car just before we reached the circular drive to the entrance. In the center was a fountain with a sculpture of a life-sized naked woman kneeling on a pedestal in the very same position in which I had learned to wait for her. My hopes turned to apprehension. I looked over at her for the first time since we’d left the restaurant parking lot. Her calm expression did little to settle me.

  “This is where I work.”

  “What is it?” I kept my tone and my behavior calm and respectful, knowing that presentation would take me further than my previous approach, also knowing it was far too late to retreat.

  She hesitated for a moment. Her hands were still on the wheel and she looked forward at the fountain. “This is a private training facility.”

  “Training for what?”

  “Women like you, Laura.” Her eyes came back to mine.

  I felt a hot flush rise to the surface of my skin, and my mind raced to try and keep up with her words. Women like me? I knew what she considered ‘training,’ but couldn’t imagine there being a place to go and be trained in some of the very personal and intimate ways she had trained me.

  “This is a private gathering, by invitation only, and it is imperative you display your ability to follow instructions. I am confident you are ready for this level. It will also test your limits and allow us to work through anything you are lacking before I commit any further.”

  All I could do was stare back at her. Test my limits? Commit? My limits had already been tested in ways I had never conceived possible. What was she committing to? What more would I have to give to prove my willingness to comply with her need to not only physically but emotionally control me?

  “You will be required to display your commitment to me. Everyone must see pride in your service.”

  I still had no idea what was in store for me, but I knew it wasn’t going to be the vacation I had planned.

  She continued. “I know you will make me proud, Laura. You have learned much more than you think, but you hold it just beneath your skin. I am hoping this experience will allow you to let it surface.”

  She placed her foot back on the gas and slowly continued up to the front of the house. When she stopped again, my door opened. I turned to see an outreached hand to assist me from the car. I did not take it. Instead I turned back to Sydney.

  “What if I can’t do this?” I asked. “Why do I need to?” Panic was starting to take over. She took my face in her hands and kissed me softly. “I trust you. I do. Can we please just go home?”

  “You will be fine, Laura. It is time for you to prove your trust by doing this – because I ask it of you. Without complete trust, there is simply no point in us continuing this relationship.”

  I had to make another choice, another instant decision that would most certainly change me from that moment on. Or was there ever a choice at all?

  Trust, Laura. Trust that she loves you and won’t let any harm come to you. Trust that she means what she says.

  Eyes closed, I turned and took in a deep breath of courage, and then opened them wide and took my first steps toward absolute trust.

  ~~~ 5 ~~~

  Her words echoed in my head. I had to do this, or we were done. Was that really what she’d meant? Where was my choice? This wasn’t just a threat. I knew her well enough to know she never said anything she didn’t mean; idle threats were not her style. She had shown me a deeper awareness of myself than I had ever felt before. Stretching beyond what I believed to be my limits made me realize my inner strength. Now I had to trust that strength. Would I allow my own inhibitions to stand in the way of the pure happiness I felt with her? She would not allow me to just tell her I loved or trusted her; I had to prove it. But what she required as proof went far beyond anything I had ever known about loyalty and love.

  How far was I willing to go to prove to her my commitment? Apparently much farther than I’d ever imagined. She had introduced me to a desire that would no longer allow me to hide or deny what I needed and wanted. It consumed me, both awake and asleep. It drove me from somewhere deep and unfamiliar. It drove me forward into dark and scary places within me that I would have never dared to explore with anyone else.

  I felt this was a crossroads for not only our relationship but for myself. I needed to choose a direction, but old ghosts and my inability to rely on my instincts flooded back. What does she expect me to learn by forcing me so far out of my comfort zone? Am I going to allow her to take me beyond the point of no return? Am I already standing there?

  Lesson Five

  “Welcome to The Gate, Miss Harrington. My name is Ty.” She held her hand toward the wide stone stairway leading up to the entrance. I looked back, but Sydney was gone. I’d be
en left standing at the threshold of something I desperately wanted but feared having, and bouncing between continuing forward and running back made me dizzy. Sydney’s words pounded in my heart and propelled me, however fearfully, forward. My desire for her somehow subdued the anxiety and allowed me to take the first steps, both physically and emotionally. Just move, Laura.

  Ty’s hand on the small of my back pushed gently, encouraging me to start up the stairs. Her persuasion was similar to Sydney’s. Although she had a delicate touch, her natural control pierced my will to resist. She stopped just outside the doors. “Please ask any questions now, Ms. Harrington, because once you enter, you will no longer have the opportunity to speak freely unless you are requested to do so.”

  “If I choose not to go in, what happens? May I leave?”

  “Yes, ma’am, you are free to leave.”

  “But I’m locked in, right?”

  “No. You are secure. The gate will open at the push of a button.”

  Who controlled that button? My natural instinct was to always find the escape rout first. “So I can walk away right now, without Sydney’s permission?”

  “Yes, ma’am, but knowing Syd, I don’t advise it.”

  It was the first time I’d heard anyone call her Syd. I had tried it once and she had quickly informed me of how I was to address her. I was curious and a little pissed at being tricked. Well – maybe not tricked, but certainly uninformed about what was going on.

  “Why am I here?”

  “I understand this is your first event, so we will prepare you for each step in the process.” Her smooth features and deep green eyes intrigued me. She was slightly butch and just my type; or I should say – my weakness. I had always been attracted to assertiveness and confidence, and she presented both, mixed with just enough arrogance to draw me in.

  “That doesn’t exactly answer my question.” A sarcastic tone spilled out; perhaps I knew this would test her actual control. Her disapproving smirk was similar to many looks I had experienced in the past few months from Sydney. Were Dommes also trained in a place like this, or was it simply a style developed over time?

  “You are where your Master wishes you to be, Miss Harrington. I believe that is the answer you were looking for?” Her response was controlled, in spite of the visible impatience perking just below her surface.

  “What does Sydney do here?”

  “That is not an appreciate question. Are you ready to go inside?”

  I took in a deep breath and nodded my head.

  “I need a verbal response, Miss Harrington.”

  “Fine then, yes!” My reply was curt, somewhat intentionally so to further test my ground with her. She grasped the knob tightly and her knuckles went a bit white as she turned it slowly. “Simply ‘Yes’ was the proper response.”

  The door opened and we entered a magnificent foyer. The marble floors and high domed ceiling reminded me of an old grand hotel. Beautiful paintings, elegant furnishings, and the scent from large fresh flower arrangements eased my apprehensions slightly. I think I had expected some sort of dark torture chamber. Twin grand staircases led my eyes up to the second and third floor railings. They landed on both floors at large arched double doors. I followed Ty to a matching set of doors directly in front of us. She turned to the table on her left and picked up a smooth polished brass ring that hinged open.

  “Please turn around.”

  I hesitated, looking at the ring, and then back into her eyes. There was no change in her expression or her expectation. I reluctantly turned my back to her. She secured the ring as a collar around my neck and encouraged me to face her again by rotating me at my shoulders. Her right hand ran under my hair and across my neck, raising goose bumps over my skin. With one motion she lifted my long thick hair from beneath the ring. It fell again, resting cold on my collar bone. Then she opened the heavy door and encouraged me to enter.

  “This is where it counts, Miss Harrington. I suggest you use what you’ve learned to this point.” Ty pushed me forward softly and closed the door behind me.

  Standing at the carved antique mahogany desk was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Laura. I’m Victoria. We have a few things to go over before you get started.”

  I stood there both eager and apprehensive. The fear of the unknown flooded every part of me.

  “Please have a seat.” Her delicate hand motioned to one of the two wingback chairs facing her desk. “You are as captivating as Sydney described.” Her class and charm were far less intimidating then anything I’d imagined. “Let me get right to it, as I am sure you’re anxious to get started.”

  “Actually, I…”

  “Excuse me, but I did not request a response” Her warm smile faded and a firm expression took over the flawless face. “You have been taught collar rules, have you not?”

  I nodded my head forward once, the way Sydney had taught me to respond when collared.

  “I expect your complete respect and obedience as long as you remain a guest with us. Is that clear, Laura?”

  Again I acknowledged her question in the proper manner, noticing my own reaction and control even in this strange circumstance.

  “You are a very special guest; however, Sydney has requested you be placed in service.”

  I had no idea what she meant, but she continued so I listened, uncertain whether I was going to remain her very special guest.

  “I do not personally orient our guests; but I was anxious to meet the woman that finally captured Sydney.”

  Captured Sydney? Now I was confused. I was the one being held captive – by both the locked gate and my desire to please someone I felt I knew less about the more I learned.

  Victoria explained slowly and carefully what would be expected of me and how I was to behave. “Sydney has expressed some concern you may not be able or willing to conform to her lifestyle. She has placed you in service to allow you the opportunity to truly see what it means to serve.”

  I wasn’t allowed to speak, so how was I supposed to react to that statement? I just sat there.

  “She needs you to develop a full understanding of your place and desire to both please her and make her proud to present you. This is your opportunity, Laura – possibly your last opportunity.”

  My heart filled with pain, and tears welled in my eyes. It was true. I stood a very real chance of losing her.

  Victoria rose from the desk and sat in the chair beside me. “Look at me, Laura. I understand where you are right now, because I too have been there. I struggled with letting go of what I thought was my independence; but what I found was an entirely new independence. I discovered a way of life that allowed me to be free.” Her warm smile and comforting eyes returned as she spoke.

  This was the farthest place from freedom I could imagine. I reached up and tugged at the metal ring around my neck, feeling its constraint on more than just my voice.

  “You may speak openly.”

  I swallowed hard to clear the lump trapped in the words. “How am I supposed to know I’m doing the right thing? I want to be with her, but I am not sure I can be what she wants.”

  “Sydney understands that. It is precisely why you are here.”

  “Why can’t she just tell me what she wants from me? Why must we play games?”

  “That’s part of your problem, Laura. You consider this all a game – and for Sydney, it’s a way of life. It is her life. She lives what she believes.”

  “Why me, though? What made her choose me?” I had often wondered what had encouraged her to turn me into her personal obsession.

  “You have very special qualities she recognized right away. I remember the first time she spoke of you. There was a spark in her I hadn’t seen since… well, it was just nice to see her happy again.” She stood and walked back around her desk.

  I was left with again more questions than answers. My confusion grew and I wanted to know – but at what cost? Who exactly w
as I selling my soul to?

  “What does Sydney do here?” I was sure now her smug comments about training bad girls was somehow true, and just the thought of her touching another woman in the way she touched me made me sad and angry at the same time.

  “That is a discussion for Sydney to choose.” She sat back in her chair and watched me. “You have to understand, this is very difficult for her as well. She has invested more than time in you, Laura, and it is not in her nature to give up easily. However, the choice has to be yours, because she has already made hers. It may not seem fair, but that is the way it must be.”

  “You said you were in my place once. You don’t appear to be under anyone’s control now.”

  “I have a Master, a very demanding Master. She is also very smart. She understands I cannot be locked away like a possession. I do my part by knowing my place and abiding by the rules of my service. In return, I am given the freedom to control myself. We have complete trust in one another. I know she will care and provide for me, and she knows I will do everything in my power to honor her.”

  “Sydney expects me to be under her control at all times.”

  “No. She expects you to control yourself at all times. There is a difference. She is teaching you what she expects you to do to be with her. You choose to do it or not.”

  “I didn’t have a choice to come here.”

  “Were you dragged by your hair, kicking and screaming, or did you simply follow what you truly wanted by going with her, wherever it was you would end up?”

  Her question slowly sank in and made me stop and think about everything I had done since I’d met Sydney. My thought raced backward to all the things she taught me. I found an understanding I had not bothered to look for prior to that moment. None of it was forced upon me. None of it was threatening or even demanded. She never told me what to do; she simply requested I do it – and I did, willingly, and for the most part happily. Even putting myself over her knee to be punished for my willfulness was my choice.