More Lessons for Laura Read online

  Lesson Two

  It had been almost two weeks since I’d seen her; and only two brief phone calls and only one of those allowing me the physical release I so desperately craved. She was firm on that particular rule. If I needed to satisfy myself without her, then I obviously didn’t need her. I had no idea when she would return, and thinking about her all the time did not help with the distractions caused by my need. When she was away for so long, I sometimes wondered if she was just another fantasy stirred by my dreams. Why would I allow my body to go unsatisfied for so long simply because she demanded it? I should just go upstairs and take care of this need and be done with it. The memory of the first and only time I had tried this stirred deep inside me. I had been convinced there could be no way she’d ever know what I did when she wasn’t with me. My bath – and the fact that she had left me with such a yearning for physical satisfaction – had led me that one time to disobey her direct request not to touch myself. My moans had filled the air and just as I felt the surge run through me, I’d heard the door to my apartment slam shut. She had caught me, and then left me to worry about the consequences for more than 24 hours. I had been punished, and the rule was once again explained. That wasn’t a mistake I wanted to make again! I turned out the lights and locked the door behind me. I had to find a distraction to keep my mind off my cravings and my hands busy.

  The street lamps were starting to hum and there was still a winter chill in the air. I wrapped my coat tightly to me. The other shops were also starting to close for the night. The small diner up the block offered a hot bowl of soup and a homemade chocolate chip cookie that brought back sweet memories of my childhood. I waved at Mr. Garrett through the window of his deli next door. He had been a friend of my grandfather for as long as I could remember. He’d always kept a watchful eye when I was a child playing in the alley between the stores, and he still looked out for me now. He and his broom came to call if any unusual activity or sound at the bookstore caught his attention. I felt safer knowing he also lived in the apartment above his shop, as the old downtown brick streets were all but abandoned after dark.

  I wrapped my hands around a warm bowl and watched the light fade into another lonely night through the large plate window. Far too much time on my own; and I begin to wonder if the entire relationship was purely physical. All my feelings were suddenly being controlled by my sexual urges. Urges she had awakened or just plain created. I wasn’t sure if she truly wanted me or if I just served a physical desire in her. My thoughts drifted. I gathered my things and reluctantly headed for home.

  As I rounded the corner I spotted her motorcycle parked under the dim streetlamp in front of the bookstore. I hurried my pace toward it, heart pounding and body excited. She didn’t call first. She always calls. She was already inside, having finally used that key she’d insisted she would never use.

  “Hello,” I called out. The dim light from the small lamp on my desk showed little more than shadows from the shelves. No response. Again I called and then headed up the stairs to my apartment. The door was slightly open, and I pushed it slowly. I could only see her silhouette in the window behind her. As I reached for the light she spoke softly.

  “Leave it off.”

  “Is everything all right?” I asked as I placed my coat on the hook by the door next to her heavy leather jacket.

  “Come over here.”

  Slowly moving toward her I felt the twinges of delight race to my stomach. Low and deep they fluttered within me. She was sitting in the chair with a glass of scotch I recognized only from the smell and the shape of the bottle beside her on the table.

  I knelt down in front of her and waited for her first command. She took the glass to her lips and looked at me as my eyes adjusted in the darkness. There was something different, something unsettling, something I wasn’t willing to unleash by misbehaving. Questions flew through my mind, but I remained quiet and still. I wanted her to tell me what was causing her mood. She finished the scotch in her glass and poured another, sipping it while looking directly into my eyes the entire time. Patiently and calmly I waited. This was very unusual. There were no words between us, but I felt her strong need to just be with me for the first time, and I was not willing to do or say anything to interrupt it.

  She placed the glass on the table and leaned forward. Taking my face in her hands, she kissed me, deeply and passionately – the kiss of a lover, not a Master. I reached my arms up and embraced her with no hesitation. She allowed it, so I caressed the back of her neck and held her in my arms. Holding her made like that made all my doubts flood away. She kissed my neck tenderly. Soon the front of my blouse was open and her hands explored my breasts, softly stroking my hardening nipples. The heat from her hand penetrated the silky fabric of my bra, and she slowly worked her finger underneath and pulled it up, freeing my breasts to fall exposed and wanting for her touch. She backed off to look at them, allowing me to see the gentleness in her expression. Desire and warmth flooded me as she looked back up into my eyes, and I think that was the very moment she actually possessed me.

  She placed one hand under my hair, bracing my neck, and the other in the small of my back, and then tenderly laid me down on the floor as she knelt over me. My blouse fell to either side, and she kissed my breasts and stomach while reaching under my skirt to the hot damp pulse between my legs. She pushed it up and drew my panties down and off. Her mouth flamed and I tasted both desire and scotch as she kissed me. She pushed my legs up and traced a hot path downward with her mouth until she rested between them comfortably. Teasing and tasting the sensitive skin, then blowing softly on the moist trails she left. Splitting my labia, and then allowing them to close again, torturing my swelling, throbbing clit. Her tenderness nearly drove me mad.

  My head rolled back against the floor and my eyes closed tightly. She spread me with her fingers to gain full access to my wet smoldering need. I moaned as the power of her affection surged through my body. She pressed her open hungry mouth to me. Her tongue plunged deep as I pushed it back out only to have her lap at my clit then stop and go back to penetrating me with her thick skillful tongue. Her face was soaked as she drank in all I offered. My hips thrust toward her reaching for more. She played me like a fine instrument drawing my symphony of pleasure.

  When I thought I would surely fall off the edge of my sanity, she took my swollen clit in her lips and plunged two fingers deeply into me. My back arched and I pushed against her with all I had to take every inch of her. Flashes of pure truth rolled into soft waves of profound awareness as she laid her head on my spastic stomach and wrapped her arms around my hips. I ran my fingers through her thick dark hair while she rested. I held that deep honest moment of tenderness in both my heart and the palm of my hand, and then I fell asleep.

  When I opened my eyes she was gone, and I was covered with the soft throw from the sofa. The chill on the cold floor beneath the rug was a direct contrast to the warmth that filled my memory. I slowly stood and walked into my bedroom. The clock on the nightstand showed12:37 a.m. I took off what remained of my clothes and crawled into bed. Sleep did not return easily, though. My mind raced back to the intense look in her eyes and the way she’d made love to me. What was that? Was it even real, or had I emptied that bottle of scotch myself and it was all just a drunken dream?

  The buzzing in my head from my alarm ended whatever dreams I might have imagined. A hot shower and a large cup of coffee would set everything right again. I raised the shade on the door and then flipped the open sign. I saw her bike still parked in the same spot. I turned quickly, and there she was sitting in one of the large reading chairs in the far corner, just watching me.

  I started to speak, and she raised her finger to her own lips to quiet me.

  “Continue your routine, Laura. Like I’m not even here”

  I released the lock on the door and walked back to my desk, glancing her way as often as I could get away with. The first customer strolled in a short time later, and I was quickly dis
tracted. She remained in the chair watching. What is she doing? Why is she acting so strangely?

  More questions than answers drove me crazy, and I just couldn’t hold it any longer. When I could take it no more, I walked over, locked the door, and pulled down the shade. She placed her book in her lap and watched as I approached. The smirk on her face only served to entice my determination to know what she was up to.

  “I wondered how long it would take you to question this.”

  “What is going on? Are you just going to sit there all day and watch me work?”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “No, I just…”

  “You just need to focus and act like I’m not here.”

  “But you are here, and it’s very difficult to…” I hesitated as I tried to read her expression.

  “What is difficult, Laura?”

  “Last night was…”

  “I didn’t think last night was so difficult.”

  I grew flustered at her teasing and just stood there for a moment. “Are you all right?”

  “Do I not look all right?”

  “Well, something is different. Last night was different.”

  “Last night was about what I wanted. How was that different?”

  “You were different. You made love to me.”

  “I always make love to you. Why was last night different?”

  “You were different and I felt… I felt… love.”

  “I would hope you always feel my love. Do you not?”

  I was more confused than ever, certain what we had was not exactly what I would consider ‘love.’ Not in the sense I had loved or been loved before.

  “Is it love? Do you love me?”

  “Love is a word, Laura. Everyone feels it differently. My feelings for you are true and deep and I want you close to me. If that is your definition of love, then yes, I love you.”

  This was the first time she’d said she loved me. I thought I knew it, but to hear it felt somehow more real. I looked into her eyes, searching for the truth I craved at that moment, wanting to trust her, wanting her to take me in her arms and show me again; but she just sat there, in complete control of both herself and me. Control I wished she would let go of more often, if that meant more like what I’d had the night before.

  “Is there something else?” Her patience diminished as her eyes flashed a slight warning.

  “No.” There was; but I felt it might be better to save the deeper conversation for a more appropriate time. A customer was knocking on the door and peering in the window to investigate the odd closing.

  “Then I suggest you let whoever that is in.”

  I reluctantly turned to walk away, not completely satisfied with the exchange, but also unwilling to accept the consequences of my persistence in the matter. The rest of the day went by quickly. Saturday was always a busy day, so her watching me wasn’t as hard to overlook as I’d imagined. I soon fell into a normal pattern, though I remained ever conscious of her observation.

  Just as the old wall clock started its first chime of four, the sound of her boots across the floor made me look up from my desk. She was locking the front door and turning the sign. She pulled down the shade, then looked at me and then up to the apartment door.

  Without hesitation I stood and made my way to the stairs. She was close behind me as I started up. Feeling her eyes on me was becoming a natural part of my existence. Wanting her eyes on me was becoming my obsession. She announced that evening she would be staying for an extended period, and I needed to make the adjustments in my schedule to accommodate her. She had never stayed longer than three days at a time, with long periods of not seeing her at all in between.

  After several weeks of her all but moving in with me, I simply opened my eyes each morning hoping it would not be the day she told me she was leaving again. Could I bear for her to leave after being with her consistently for so long this time? I had finally found a balance and routine with her there. A narrow line was drawn and I followed it willingly, and a calm, clear tone settled in my mind. Our time was spent in a world of heightened desire and I lost myself in pleasing her. I attended her needs as if they were my own; and I discovered that they were in fact my own. It did not pervert me from deliberately drawing her fire from time to time. My need to feel her flame was almost as strong as my desire to know her love. Sometimes I wondered which drove me more.

  ~~~ 3 ~~~

  What was different this time, and why had she stayed for so long? I grew hungry for more than just accepting she was there. I wanted to know her on a more personal level. I had been obedient and given her all I had; and now it was time for her to give more than a physical commitment. Who was she? What was she? I had all but abandoned the questions of a normal relationship for the emotional submissions she required. My love and lust had grown stronger, and it was time to know her. I finally gained the courage to demand the answers I craved.

  When we were relaxed and completely alone and she was in a soft loving mood, I decided to risk the inquisition.

  “Are you ever going to tell me anything about you?”

  “What would you like to know?” She looked up from the papers she was studying.

  “Where do you go when you’re not here?”

  “Work.” The one word answer was her customary response.

  “But what do you do?” I asked. Most of the time I got quick funny answers like, I’m a spy.

  This time she said, “I train naughty girls for a living.”

  “Very funny.” I snarled sarcastically.

  She was obviously not willing to share, and I was painfully aware she had a life that, for whatever reason, I was not part of. Anytime I pushed or tried to dig for more information, she would turn the subject or distract me with her ability to drop me to my knees with a word or glance. I think that might have been one of the attractions. I was not required to be more than available to her. It was also one of the biggest distractions. I wanted to know I was more to her; and yet at the same time I wasn’t sure I was capable of being more.

  Work wasn’t the only thing she avoided talking about. There was never any mention of family. I’d had no family since my grandfather passed, so it was possible she too was alone in the world. Were we destined to be alone together?

  She expected complete disclosure from me and would question for hours about the smallest details of my past. Lovers, experiences, even my childhood, making me face the deep pain felt from the loss of my parents – nothing was off limits. I was not allowed to evade her inquisition, but she offered nothing in return.

  Lesson Three

  Warm spring air brushed across my skin and the last of the snow had melted into the ground, nourishing the scent of wildflowers. Late morning sun washed my face as I was held against the warm, prickly, brick wall behind the bank in the center of town. Her body pressed against me as my heart pounded with excitement and the delicious fear of being caught before she finished. I was learning to focus on what she wanted rather than my precarious surroundings. It was still difficult to completely relax when she fucked me in public places, each time more daring and exposed than the last. I was starting to anticipate where it might be next.

  She consumed my body at will, and I was finding it more desirable to please her than to fight every request. My skirt was completely up and bunched at my waist as she placed her fingers inside the leg of my panties. She slipped deeper into the fold until I felt her sweep the silky hot liquid up to my pounding clit. She squeezed it between slippery fingers and tugged at it to encourage my response, while warning me to conceal it at the same time. My eyes were closed, and the noise of the street just a few steps around the corner faded into my moans.

  “Open your eyes, Laura.”

  Her voice was all I required to obey after the prolonged conditioning. Her grin told me her intention and my heart knew her desire. I pushed my hips from the wall to chase her teasing hand as far as I could, with her other hand trapping both my wrists to the wall ov
er my head. My mouth was open, gasping for air and control. Just as the sounds of my orgasm flooded out and I lost composure, she forced her tongue deep into my throat to quiet the outburst she herself had provoked.

  I pressed against her and she stepped back to look at me. Still holding my wrists above my head, she watched as I twisted with temporary insanity. I pushed my hips forward to encourage more. I wanted more of her; I wanted all of her. Instead she stepped back and released my hands, still holding me with only her eyes.

  “Your control is improving, but you still need to work on that verbal outburst.”

  I smiled as I dropped my arms to correct the indecency of my shuffled attire. She waited for me to adjust my hem line and close my jacket across the button-less blouse she’d sacrificed in her hunger to expose me quickly. Another for my collection of clothing she had either torn or cut from my body. I took her arm, and we walked out from behind the building like we had simply taken a wrong turn. I felt the dampness between my legs and the warm flush on my skin as we continued on our way through the farmers market.

  “I think you might be ready now.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “To know what I do.”

  I was shocked; her announcement had come from nowhere.

  “I would like you to attend an event with me. It is held each year where I work.”

  Work? Was I finally going to be more than…than what? What exactly was I to her?

  “What type of event?”

  “It is still several weeks away, so I will give you more details as you need them.”